


Just Between Us

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25520878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: The first time it happened, it was an accident.The second time, not so much.
Relationships: Kiefer Sutherland/Lou Diamond Phillips
Kudos: 3





	Just Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> This does not, in any way, represent anything that has happened in real life at all. I do not mean to offend or insult Lou Diamond Phillips, Kiefer Sutherland, nor anybody else. This was for pure entertainment purposes.

**1.Meet**

They first met on the set of _Young Guns,_ during a time of intense stress, of trying to make a name for themselves in different ways. Lou wasn't known beyond his prior work on movies such as _La Bamba_ and _Stand and Deliver,_ which made it a miracle, really, that he was chosen for the part. Maybe he fit what the casting director had in mind, or there was nobody else. It didn't matter and, anyways, it was a miracle in itself that he was chosen and had the work. It wasn't easy making a name for oneself when you're name was not known besides a close circle of movies but really only consisted of two, especially in the cut-throat world of movie making, and maybe that's why Lou was so biased against Kiefer Sutherland when they first met, gathered in a bar with most of the other cast and crew. In his jaded opinion, Kiefer Sutherland was at a advantage, with his father being who he was, and already having been in a number of other movies that had done well for both critics and fans. Maybe it was wrong of Lou, but there was no stopping those misinformed opinions, not until he sat down next to the blonde, who was sipping whiskey in a eat melancholic way. Lou wasn't sure what he was going to say, only knowing that all of the others guys were talking and laughing over one another, and that they seemed to be the only people who were away from the noise, just by themselves, and if there was one thing that Lou didn't intend in his life, it was to be alone. Outwardly, he could be quite cold, but being lonely was a fear of his, one that he didn't want to see come true. "Hey." Lou said, taking a sip of his own drink. Kiefer looked up, blue eyes placid, and smiled slightly. "Hey yourself. Lou, right?" 

It was clear from his tone that it wasn't really a question. "Yeah. So, are you excited to start filming?" Lou asked, not sure what else to say but figuring that was better than nothing. Kiefer shrugged, "It's not everyday you do a cowboy movie. I've been looking forward to it, except for the heat." He replied. As of for emphasis, Kiefer wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. Lou had grown up in mainly hot environments, and so he was fairly used to the heat, but he could see how somebody who wasn't used to it might be having a hard time. "I can see what you mean, but I'm kinda used to it." He offered as consolation. Kiefer looked at him curiously. "Really? Where'd you grow up?" 

The rest of the night was spent talking, a comfortable peace settling between them. Kiefer gradually became much louder, much happier, talking about all sorts of things ranging from his lifelong fascination with cowboys to the horses he's ridden to just about everything else. It was like a switch had been turned inside of him, and Lou listened more intently than he meant to, offering his own input and information whenever his companion quieted. They bounced off of each other nicely, and Lou found himself getting lost in the conversation, content to just listen even when the topic was boring for him. It was nice to just have somebody to talk to.

**2.Joke**

Filming was long, hard, and tedious. Hours, days, spent rehearsing lines and recording under the sun that never seemed to let up. The clothing, thick and heavy, wasn't helping either, and Lou found himself wondering how common heat stroke was back in the day. "The hats probably helped." Charlie said once in a rare stroke of smarts, sitting in a chair and holding a handheld fan in front of his face. Lou didn't much like Charlie, and had merely hummed in response, pretending that this was just him staying in character. Lou was exhausted, but he knew everybody else was, too. How couldn't they be? 

But during this time, Lou found solace in Kiefer, who, despite his previous words, seemed relatively unbothered by the long work days and heat. In fact, he almost seemed to enjoy it, the endless amounts of time spent on set because somebody flubbed a line or something. It was probably because he was used to it, Lou supposed, but it didn't stop him from marveling whenever him and the rest of the cast sat down for a few minutes and, not a second later, Kiefer was rallying them back up in time. "How do you do it?" Lou asked when, long after filming had stopped for the day, he and Kiefer were sitting, alone, in the dark desert. "Do what?" Kiefer said, looking high above at the stars, glittering in the darkness that served as the sky. Lou motioned weakly to the set pieces that hadn't been put away for the night, unable to find the proper words for a minute. "Keep on going. The first day before filming, you complained of how hot it was, and now it's like you almost enjoy it." Lou didn't mean it to be rude, but that's how it came out. Wincing, he was about to rectify his mistake, reassure his friend that it wasn't meant to be like that, but Kiefer either didn't notice it didn't care. "I try not to notice it and, when I do, I channel it into Doc, and I think, 'Would Doc complain about the heat'? No sir, he would not." Kiefer resolutely shook his head. 

Lou grinned. "Are you saying that I complain?" He asked, nudging Kiefer with his shoulder. Then he frowned and grew solemn, "Are you saying that I, Chavez, complain about this heat?" As predicted, Kiefer snorted and smacked his shoulder. "Oh, fuck off." He said, amused and with no anger. There was something about the way his eyes lit up with the laughter that made Lou's heart beat a little faster, and the worst part of all was that he didn't know why. 

**3.Worry**

Halfway through filming, Kiefer began to act strangely. Nobody knew why, though that might've been that they were too concerned with their own problems to care as to why the blonde seemed to almost undergo a drastic change. Lou was concerned, though, and one day, during the filming of a scene that they weren't in, he went and found Kiefer sitting, hunched, in his chair, fiddling with his fingers. "What's wrong?" Lou asked, worried for many reasons but especially finding it concerning that their almost nightly talks, walking around the desert that they were filming in, had stopped. He missed the company but, most of all, missing the humor and smiled that Kiefer provided, the times that he distracted Lou with his insecurities regarding his acting and all of his other problems with his tendency to twist one so next around to the other, like they fit in a puzzle. Kiefer smiled, but it wasn't his usual version. "Nothing you should be concerned about." He answered. It wasn't an answer that Lou was satisfied with, but then he the director called for him, tone loud and commanding, and he had no choice but to leave Kiefer in his loneliness. 

That night, Lou managed to lure Kiefer from his trailer with the promise of an emergency before grabbing the blonde's arm and dragging him towards seclusion. "OW- Jesus, Lou, calm down, where are we going?" Kiefer hurried to match Lou's pace, his feet stumbling, eyes still weary with sleep. Lou calmed, but only when they were a ways away from the trailers, secluded and alone. "What happened? Why are we- what the _fuck?"_ Kiefer stressed the last word, probably still trying to comprehend what had just happened and why they were so far away. 

Lou put one of his hands on his friend's shoulder to calm him. "I lied. I wanted to talk to you, there's no emergency." He only felt a little guilty for the lie, but Kiefer frowned and pulled away. "Not funny, man." He muttered. Lou shook his head, "It wasn't meant to be-okay, I dragged you on here because you've been acting strange and it's worrying me." Lou was aware of how indignant he sounded, like this was an attack on his personal character. But whenever he got a friend, that friend always became something closer, something so much more, and Lou always protected that friend with his life, and, okay, maybe he was alone a mother hen sometimes but he always valued his friends, and that was more important than his dignity. Kiefer huffed, his eyes downcast. "Or what?" He said in a petulant tone, like a teenager. Lou struggled for a moment, thinking and wondering about how far he was willing to go. He bit his lip for a moment. "Or I'll tell your father." Hardly an original threat, but Kiefer instantly scowled. 

In the night, New Mexico was surprisingly cold. Lou realized how severely underdressed Kiefer was for the weather when he wrapped his arms around his slim torso and shivered. Lou wanted to do something about it, put his arm around Kiefer, _anything,_ but wanted answers first. And for a few minutes, they stood there, Lou looking silently at his friend, who clearly was quite irritated. "Fine. You wanna know? Here it is. My marriage isn't even in the rocks anymore. It fell into the goddamn ocean barely weeks after we got married and the only reason she's even with me is because we're about to have a kid and her daughter is really attached to me, and lord fucking knows that it was doomed from the start but why not, right? Camelia has already gotten a new apartment and all of that but is trying to make it work, but we were never meant to be. She's too mature, and has an idea of what she's doing while I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't want to give up the party life yet but I'm a dad, now, and neither of us want to prove them right." Kiefer rambled. Lou blinked, surprised that he got answers so quickly, and equally startled at the answers themselves. 

"Prove who right?" Lou eventually asks for lack of a better response.

Kiefer shrugs. "Everybody. I was too young, and she was desperate for love." He replied. And then a smile behind to form. "I'm going to be a dad." It's like Kiefer was saying it for the first time, in a tone full of wonderment, and Lou feels his heart speed up again. "Do you have a name yet?" He asked. It's an attempt to get a smile again, and maybe to distract his friend from the possibility of divorce. Kiefer nodded eagerly, like he'd been waiting for this question. "Sarah Jude." 

It's a pretty name. Lou tells him so, and Kiefer seems to brighten up, if not completely, then just a little. "Thanks." Kiefer said, wrapping his arm around Lou's shoulders in a half hug. It feels nice, better than a usual hug, and for a minute, Lou sinks into it, smelling the minty shampoo that Kiefer used, a faint spicy cologne, and just _him._

**4.Kiss**

At first, Lou doesn't believe it was on purpose. Kiefer was drunk, after all, and probably exhuasted, but it still didn't seem like it was an accident when, in the midst of celebrating their last take, a rushed kiss settled against the side of Lou's mouth, almost like it felt natural, purposeful. Nobody was paying attention to them, and that was a good thing, because it was definitely noticeable. Lou blinked, startled, but not displeased. Being kissed by another guy was a new thing for him, and maybe if it was by anybody who wasn't Kiefer, then Lou would've pushed them away immediately, but the kiss had been nice, and Lou wouldn't have complained of it had happened again. But they were in a crowded space, easily seen by the other actors and actresses, and Kiefer seemed embarrassed now, shying away. 

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Kiefer said, turning away, already gone by the time Lou got a handle on himself. They didn't talk for the rest of the night, and by the time Lou had settled down in his trailer for one final night, he'd brushed it off as an accident. 

But why did he feel so disappointed?

**5.Reassurance**

The next day, Kiefer appeared at Lou's side, a pair of sunglasses fixed firmly over his eyes and lips pressed thin. "Can we forget about that, Lou? Please?" He asked, sounding desperate in a way that was totally unlike the man that Lou had come to know. He also sounded afraid, and that didn't sit right with Lou, either. For a minute, he considered playing dumb, but in the end, he smiled gently and rested his hand on his friend's back, right below his neck. "Don't worry about it." He said and, like magic, things returned to normal. 

Well, almost. 

**6.Knowledge**

Filming for _Renegades_ didn't take long, but during that time spent together, the twisted, contorted feelings that had settled within Lou had worsened, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. 

Seeing Kiefer with Jami made Lou feel jealous, and not because Lou liked Jami in that sense- She was a wonderful woman, and gorgeous in a way that was beyond words, but because he saw how Kiefer acted with her, playful and friendly and funny and acting like they were best friends, and sure, he acted the same way with Lou but with Jami, it was different. He kissed her cheek and joked around with her about the time they spent together on the set of _The Lost Boys_ and it made Lou ache with jealousy, made him wish that they had known each other for that long, shared that friendship that went even deeper. 

During one night out, Jami leaned across the table that they were sitting at after Kiefer had left for the bathroom and said, with a knowing little smile, "You like him, don't you?" 

Lou couldn't deny it. And Jami swore her eternal secrecy, a bright glint in her eyes that suggested humor about the whole situation. Kiefer returned and sensed that something had happened while he'd been gone, but nobody answered his question as _to what_ and, eventually, he stopped asking. 

**7.Love**

During all of this time, he'd been married. It was a marriage out of necessity, and Lou knew that Julie didn't love him, nor did he love her in the way that could count as love. It was merely platonic and it was a a mutual decision to split up just as _Young Guns 2_ was announced, and Lou returned to New Mexico with a heavy heart, feeling torn between these feelings for one of his best friends and his recent divorce. Kiefer had divorced his own wife not long after their baby girl was born, and Lou found a kinship with him regarding that, their own recent breakups and troubles. 

Lou and Kiefer still found time to spend together in spite of the fact that Kiefer was flying between places in order to also film _Flatliner,_ which was sure to be a success. They didn't mention that kiss, instead focusing on the usual things that guys talked about, laughing and pretending that the world didn't exist when they were away from set. When they were filming, away from the camera but still in costume, they whispered and distracted each other. Lou tried not to focus on his feelings, instead being as supportive as possible when Kiefer tracked that he was seeing Julia Roberts romantically. He was still supportive when they became engaged, happily accepting the invitation to come to their wedding, and not long later, served as a comforter to Kiefer when Julia left with Jason Patric for Ireland.

Lou felt disgusted at the happiness he felt over the destruction of Kiefer's love life. 

**8.Question**

They were at Kiefer's apartment. 

Lou was watching television while Kiefer was in the kitchen, cursing over the lack of cleanliness and organization. The dishes clattered together loudly, and a plastic cup fell to the ground in all the chaos. Lou had offered to help, but was practically pushed out of the kitchen in response, and was now stuck staring at the baby toys that were tossed all around the floor in between watching an old movie that he didn't even know the name of. 

"Where's Sarah?" He asked, looking back to where his friend was, a mere blur in the kitchen. "With her mother. Split custody." Kiefer replied. 

Lou knew that these feelings were love, and they were not brotherly. He loved Kiefer in the same way that he was supposed to love his wife, but the question was, did Kiefer feel the same, or was that kiss just a product of too much drinking?

**9.Finally**

Lou found out two weeks later. 

How this escalated so fast was anybody's guess, but one thing had less to another, a brief smile, so bright and gentle, in response to a flirtatious advance, and now Kiefer was pressed up against the wall and Lou was exploring every inch of skin, kissing him intensely, getting to know his best friend in a way that was beyond anything that they'd done before. Kiefer replied with just as much enthusiasm, his hands inching downwards, doing what they'd both wanted to do since so many years before. 

Tumbling into bed, a strange combination of rough yet so gentle, biting and stroking, syncing like they were meant to be. 

**10.I Do**

They agreed that it had to be a secret, kept close to their hearts. To avoid the dreaded suspicion, they also agreed that they needed to continue relationships with other women. What they were doing was so, so wrong but it felt so right whenever they caught up again, going to places that only the other person could take them to. It was passionate and lovely and more than what either of them could've ever expected. 

"I love you." Lou said one night, trailing kisses down the long expanse of Kiefer's stomach. 

"I love you, too." Kiefer returned, his hands entangled in Lou's soft hair. 

**11.Father**

"Dad, you'd always love me, and accept me, no matter what, right?" 

Donald frowned, looked up, curious. "Of course I would. Why would you ask that? Is something wrong?" He asked immediately. Kiefer debated with himself internally, and then shook his head. "No, it's nothing." 

**12.Resist**

They were in bed. Kiefer was tracing patterns on Lou's skin, enjoying the silence that was always comfortable. Lou had his hand on the back of Kiefer's head, wondering what life would've been life of he'd reciprocated that first kiss. 

"I'm glad that you kissed me that night. I don't think that I could've found the courage to do the same." Lou said. Kiefer smiled, "You would've, I'm too hard to resist." 


End file.
